


Ebb and Flow

by headofmarimo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Families, Chapters with sex will have a warning in the notes if people want to avoid them, Explicit Sexual Content, Found Family, Gender Dysphoria, Genderqueer Eridan Ampora, Homophobia, Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, I had to make Dualscar a transphobe/homophobe to further this story's plot, It was the most painful thing I ever had to do in terms of writing, M/M, Other, Pegging, Running Away, Strap-Ons, The original character is the psiioniic's spouse, Trans Male Sollux Captor, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:40:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25985281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headofmarimo/pseuds/headofmarimo
Summary: In the midst of high expectations and strict guidelines, Eridan struggles to find himself.
Relationships: Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	Ebb and Flow

**Author's Note:**

> ( Hi guys!  
> So.... confession time. I'm writing this fic because it's sort of like my coping mechanism. ^_^' I've had trouble coming to terms with my gender and my sexuality for quite a while in the midst of a family who's strongly expressed their disapproval for this sort of topic. Guess I just wanted to make something where a character I relate to shares some of my turmoil and hopefully turns out for the better at the end of it all... >w>;  
> Anyways! Hope you enjoy this fic!
> 
> Family Relations:  
> Amporas: German  
> Dualscar-single dad. CEO of a successful weapons company.  
> Cronus- Older brother, enlisted in the navy after quitting college.  
> Eridan- History and Finance Major. Expected to work at his dad's company after he finishes college and later take over the company.
> 
> Captors: Korean/Japanese  
> Psiioniic- Japanese. Personal Assistant to the CEO of Crocker Corp. Married to ??? (Korean)  
> Mituna - Older brother. Art major. Was held back a few years in college due to a traumatic brain injury. Same year as Sollux.  
> Sollux - Computer Science Major.
> 
> Captor HC's provided by the lovely @Micutiethemitten !!!!  
> More info will be added as the story progresses!!)

Eridan Ampora was without a doubt the biggest fool in existence. Alone in his room during the late hours of the evening, he had been frantically cramming for the maritime studies exam he was supposed to take tomorrow morning. 

Surely this fiasco couldn’t be deemed as his fault. He had been so sure that the stupid midterm was next week only to receive a nasty shock once he checked the exam schedule again. Fucking marine biology, no one could blame him for getting the two classes mixed up; their abbreviations are pretty much the same and it certainly looked the same on the damn schedule.

He sat hunched over his desk, brows furrowed in concentration as he skimmed through his textbook while simultaneously jotting down important details in his notebook. Before he could consider the easy way out of saying “fuck it” and winging his way through tomorrow, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket, and Eridan had to force himself to stop writing. He set down his pen so he could see who was calling him. A small frown tugged at the corners of his lips once he saw the caller ID on the screen. Oh great, what does this bastard want now?

After letting his phone ring a few more times Eridan finally picked up, hesitant to speak:

“...Hello?” he breathed into the phone.

“Eridan?” A low voice rasped from the other end of the line. “Are you busy right now?” Straight to the point. Not that Eridan was surprised. His dad only ever called if he had reason to suspect Eridan was up to something unsavory.

“No dad. Just studying for exams.”

“Good, good.”

Eridan didn’t respond, looking out the window and inspecting the flutter of passing shadows underneath the streetlights from straggling night crawlers. He tapped his foot impatiently under the desk, just wanting the conversation to end already.

“How are you? Everything okay at college?”

 _Like you actually give a shit about how I’m doing_ , Eridan had wanted to say, but he bit back the words in favor of generic responses to answer his dad’s dry inquiries. “I’m fine. Just a little stressed about upcoming exams.”

“You’ll do fine. I know you will.”

“Thanks dad.”

Silence. Eridan had half a mind to abruptly hang up.

“So a package came in today for you. I think you forgot to change the shipping address after you moved out.” His dad broached.

Oh god no.

Eridan felt his blood run cold. One majorly careless fuckup he could try to justify, but two was simply absurd. He tried his best not to vocally curse himself for his own sheer incompetence.

The one time he finally felt like he could be comfortable in his own space he ended up screwing himself over. Eridan would have preferred that package to be shipped to anywhere else in the world if it meant it would pass undetected by his father. He already knew that his dad had opened it up for inspection, sticking his damn nose where it didn’t belong because he felt he had the right to know what his money was being spent on.

A pause from his father’s end. “There was a dress in it.”

Another pause, and all Eridan could do was hope that his dad would accuse him of the obvious rather than the truth.

“...So you have a girlfriend now?”

Eridan had to hold back a sigh of relief. “I… yeah. Sorry for not telling you sooner.”

“It’s fine. I know you’re busy.” His dad sounded oddly pleased. “What’s she like?”

“ _She_ -” Eridan began, pondering if he should feed his dad more bullshit or actually give an accurate description.

He decided to be at least somewhat truthful. “She’s awful, to be honest. She acts like she doesn’t care about anything, but it’s clear she gives the most fucks out of anyone in the room. Which I guess is kind of cute but most of the time it’s just complicated and tiresome to figure out.”

“Language, Eridan.”

“Sorry.”

His dad chuckled. “She sounds cute. You should bring her home for a visit.”

“I don’t know. She’s pretty snippy towards new people.”

“That’s no problem. I’m sure I can win her over.” he joked, and Eridan let out a small huff of nervous laughter in return.

“Anyways, I’ll send the dress over and you can give it to her as a nice present.”

“Thanks dad.”

“It’s a real pretty thing. I’m sure she’ll love it. For a second I was worried you were turning into a fairy, buying fruity clothes like that.” he laughed, but this time Eridan couldn’t bring himself to laugh with him, an icy cold weight sinking into his chest.

“I have to get back to studying dad.”

“Sure sure. Goodnight Eridan.”

“Goodnight.”

His dad hung up, and Eridan let out a heavy sigh, his motivation to keep going spoiled as he idly tapped the tip of his pen against the notebook’s spine.

He decided he was done studying for the night. If he failed then that was that, and if his dad wasn’t happy with it then he could go eat shit. He tidied up his notes and slipped them into his backpack before heading to bed, but once his body hit the mattress he simply couldn’t will himself to sleep, too frantic thinking about his father’s words.

Looks like he’ll have to hold off on having _that_ conversation with his dad indefinitely.

He couldn’t help but wonder just how long he could keep this up.

* * *

The dress arrived a few days later. Eridan had found the package patiently waiting on his house’s porch, and once it was in his possession he carefully placed it on his bedroom floor before slicing open the tape with scissors. The box had already been opened and then resealed with an extra layer of tape, his father’s habit of snooping through his sons’ deliveries in search of contraband meaning that the package would always reach its recipient a little worse for wear. Fortunately the product itself was still in perfect condition, found crisply folded in its cellophane bag once Eridan pulled back the box’s flaps, and he cautiously peeled away the covering before picking up the dress so it would spill out to its full length, pinching the shoulders between his fingers so he could inspect the dress’s entirety.

His dad was right about one thing: the dress was gorgeous. Really it was only to be expected considering Eridan had impeccable taste. 

He shuffled over to the full length mirror propped against the wall, grateful that he lived alone as he held the article of clothing across his chest to get a thorough grasp of what it might look like before finally trying it on. Afterwards he stripped off his clothes and put on the new outfit for the full experience. His eyes skimmed over the mirror, doing a few turns so he could inspect himself at all angles.

It wasn’t anything too fancy; short sleeves with the skirt fanned down to the middle of his thighs and the waistline closely hugging his torso. The violet fabric was silky to the touch, purple accents around the collar, sleeves, and hem of the dress and a dark blue sash tied around the waist. He looked good, but not good enough for, say, some sophisticated dinner party where a bunch of highbrow magnates would spend a couple of hours circle-jerking each other for business favors.

Definitely good enough for a date with his boyfriend though.

He carefully took off the dress and hung it up in his closet. Afterwards he punched in a number that he had memorized to heart on his cellphone.

The phone rang exactly two times before someone picked up.

“The fuck do you want asshole? I’m busy studying for my networking course.” a familiar voice lisped vehemently into his ear.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. You never study for any of your comp sci classes.” Eridan snipped in return, ignoring the lack of greeting.

“Meh, you got me there.” In the background Eridan could distantly hear the wretched cry of some video game character in her death throes followed by a fiery explosion. “So what do you want?”

“Sol, we haven’t seen each other in a while, and lately you never call me.”

“Yeah, because we got a little something called midterms coming up, and as much as I’d like to say I’ll ace all of them with effortless ease psychology’s kind of kicking my ass right now.” another magical explosion, and Sollux swore into the microphone.

“So you don’t have time to see me but you still have time to sit on your ass and play League? Fuck you.” Eridan couldn’t help but start to get a little upset. He decided to go with the emotional approach, deliberately pausing for a second before speaking again just to guilt trip the bastard as much as possible. “It’s just been hard okay? Not being able to see you. I miss you.”

Sollux groaned, and Eridan could hear another character dying in the background, screaming. “Oh my god, ED. _Fine_. Will you stop treating me like your impassive white-collar husband who comes home from work late reeking of booze if I agree to go on a date with you?”

“Maybe.”

“ _Fine._ ” Sollux huffed before he started slurping into the phone, probably pumping another nasty energy drink into his system because Eridan swore that’s all his bloodstream subsisted on. He had never once seen Sollux actually drink water. “I’ll pick you up this Friday at seven. Happy now?”

“I’d be happier if you didn’t sound so fucking reluctant about it.” Eridan grumbled, dejectedly fiddling with a loose strand of his hair.

For a second Sollux was silent. “I’m not actually annoyed, ED. I didn’t mean for it to be taken that way.” more hesitation. “... I miss you too. Really.” and Eridan could tell from the sincerity in his voice that he meant it, unable to help but feel a little smug that he got the ever-so-sardonic Sollux Captor to admit his more tender feelings. Not that Eridan was flustered about it at all or anything. Seriously.

“Fine, I guess I can forgive you. One more thing. Could we stay at my place, actually? I-I got another… dress.” The walls of Sollux’s apartment were too thin for his liking. He didn’t find the idea of people listening in on their conversations and… other activities very pleasing. Not to mention Karkat was Sollux's roommate, and Eridan would rather die than have Karkat unwittingly stumble upon their more private affairs.

“Oh, uh…” for a moment all Eridan could hear was the sound of frantic mouse clicking and sci-fi laser beams. “Sure. We can do that. I’ll order takeout, maybe borrow a few of KK’s god-awful romcoms. God knows it’ll be better than rewatching Shrek for the fifth fucking time.”

“What’s wrong with Shrek?” Eridan asked defensively.

“ED for fuck’s sake we are not watching Shrek again. Seriously I’ll never understand why you unironically like that movie so mu- god fucking damn it! Piece of shit team!” Sollux roared. A woman’s voice coldly stated “defeat” from Sollux’s computer speakers, and Sollux could be heard crushing an empty drink can in his hand. “Ugh, fucking hate this game I swear. Anyways, I’ll swing by and we can figure shit out from there, I guess.”

“Whatever. I guess that works for me.” Eridan sighed, although he couldn’t have been more excited for Friday to come. “I’ll talk to you later then, okay? Later jackass.”

“See ya, douchebag.”

Eridan was unable to suppress a smile as he hung up. Friday seemed so far away now, but at the very least that meant he’d be riding this floaty feeling of anticipation for longer. It provided a great distraction for whatever worries he had about certain intrusive paternal figures ruining his life.

He felt good.

* * *

Friday night came along, and Eridan leapt up from the living room couch when he heard the doorbell ring. He rushed over to the door and opened it, eyes brightening once he saw Sollux standing on the other side. The cheeriness didn’t last long once he saw that Sollux had shown up in some ratty-ass attire though, even for Sollux’s standards. Thick T-shirt with some cheesy video game reference Eridan didn’t understand coupled with a few chip dust stains smeared on the front, a raggedy bottle-green jacket, and black jeans with the cuffs rolled up over shabby black and white sneakers in that respective order. One black shoe, one white one that almost didn’t look white anymore. Quite literally a walking fashion disaster. Even his hair was still messy on one side, pressed flat against his head and sweeping upwards as if he had fallen asleep on top of it.

Eridan’s bottom lip curled in disdain. “Did you even make an effort, or did you just wake up from your trash heap of a desk and walk out with whatever you were already wearing?” he muttered, impatiently tapping a stocking-clad foot on the floor. He was already wearing his dress, makeup meticulously applied to his face and hair styled in perfectly wavy locks to frame his cheeks.

“You look nice,” is all Sollux said in return, and Eridan rolled his eyes as he stepped aside to allow Sollux into his home. Sollux scuffed off his shoes and immediately went to make himself comfy on the couch, plopping down with his arms splayed across the top. “Don’t worry, it’s not like anyone else is gonna see me aside from you.”

“Oh, so I’m not worth the effort to making yourself look less of a fuckin’ bum?” Eridan scowled, setting himself right next to Sollux. He ignored the hand placed on his shoulder, huffing when Sollux pulled him closer.

“You know that’s not what I meant. Quit being so pissy.” Sollux said exasperatedly, sighing when he saw the scowl on Eridan’s face grow deeper. “... You look great.” he tried.

“You already said that” Eridan muttered, and Sollux chuckled sheepishly. They both knew how this song and dance was supposed to go by now, Sollux struggling to earn Eridan’s approval again as he tried to compensate for being a shitty boyfriend while Eridan pretended like he was unaffected.

“Well you do.” Sollux kissed his cheek and Eridan grumbled halfheartedly in return. “I missed you.”

“Then why don’t you call?” Eridan mumbled, unable to keep out the slight tremor in his voice. “Swear I’m always the one who has to make contact otherwise you’d probably even forget I existed. Always cooped up in your damn apartment with your head too far up your ass to even consider that maybe I’d prefer it if you had some social skills for a change and tried to talk to me first. You know, under the pretense that you actually give a shit about how I’m doing?”

“Okay, I admit I don’t keep in touch with you as much as a good boyfriend should and I’m sorry for that. You deserve better. But you already know that I’m not some fucking social butterfly fluttering around diligently pollinating the flowers that represent my relationships or whatever interpersonal bullshit the flowers symbolize.” Sollux shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I need moments to myself, and I need you to understand that I’m not ghosting you because I don’t care. I just get too invested in what I’m doing to think about hitting up friends or even you until one of you guys snap me out of my trance.”

Eridan gently bit his lower lip, hands in his lap. He didn’t pull away when he felt Sollux place a hand over his. “You’re one of the better things that happened in my life ED. Hell, maybe even one of the best, and I’d never want to take that for granted.”

Eridan sighed, finally allowing himself to lean into Sollux. “Fine. I get it. Maybe I overreacted but at the very least give me a text every now and then letting me know you’re still alive okay? And for god’s sake try to look a little less like some diseased rodent that crawled out of the sceptic tank when we’re together. Not even all the time but just for like… more special dates like this one.”

“It’s a deal.” Sollux replied before kissing Eridan again, and Eridan reciprocated the kiss in turn. He smirked. “Wow, not more than five minutes into a date and we already had a heart-to-heart because of your insecurities. That’s gotta be a new record.”

Sollux snickered fiendishly when Eridan shoved him into the arm of the couch. “Shut up and order some food already.” he snapped.

“Alright, fine. What does your royal highness wish to eat?” Sollux cackled while he pulled out his phone.

“Shut up! What happened to me being _one of the better thingth that happened in your life_ you cheesy sap?”

“Oh fuck you!” Sollux blustered, cheeks flushed an embarrassed red, and Eridan couldn’t help but laugh goodnaturedly, causing Sollux to give a fondly resigned smile in return.

Although Eridan was given the privilege of picking the type of food they ended up arguing over the restaurant for the next several minutes, finally betting on a coin flip to settle the matter.

**Author's Note:**

> (Thanks so much for reading!)


End file.
